Now, this is a story all about how my life got twisted turned upside down -

After spending 3 hours writing my resume, 45 minutes on my cover letter, applying to 300 jobs, doing 5 interviews, a test project, a background check, a reference check, and a drug test — I finally got a new job.

I did all of that just for my new manager to start flicking the whip on me two days after I start, to stroke her insanely brittle ego.

The company gifted everyone a free day off of work. My free day off was one week after it was officially announced. My manager told me that Monday morning to add this day off to my calendar. I did it the next day — on Tuesday morning.

“You took too long to add your day off to your calendar, I’ll have to write you up.”

(Less than two weeks on the job)

Ba-Dum-Tss

I was once told, “You’re only new once, so make a lasting impression!” by a company that had 5 people quit the first week I started.

This is the same company that had a VP of People & Culture attempt to enforce a policy in which the HR Department snooped on candidates’ social media profiles before extending them a job offer. Stating they wanted to make sure new employees were “culturally aligned”.

I wish I could pretend that all of this was cool and just sit in the corner collecting paychecks, but when you quit your old job for a new job that ends up being toxic you start to spiral a bit:

No. More. Celebrating. New. Jobs.

I like to put a 90-day hold on any new job celebrations until I gain some insight and perspective on what I actually got myself into. We need the gift of time to give clarity on whether you’re walking into a room full of opportunities or a room full of wolves.

“If I walk into a room full of wolves, I come out leading the pack.”

Can we please stop this crabs-in-barrel mentality and learn to accept that we don’t actually know what the fuck is going on? Or what life has in store for us.

What seems like a good opportunity may not actually be a good opportunity for you. And what seems bad, may not be bad. Only time will truly tell.

Do you want that house on the hill? You need to make $150k, so you get a job paying $150k — only to find out your boss is a racist or a sexist or a narcissist or doesn’t like you. Hell, maybe you don’t like them or the job is boring. Now what?

The current version of you is sitting here stressed out. The future version of you is back on Indeed blasting your resume out, while the past version of you is out celebrating.

Yeah, look at you — smiling to your friends, grinning big — making a toast to your new job, when you’re really just toasting to your future demise.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m fully aware that this won’t apply to everyone. For some, this won’t be the case and may never be the case.

Even if you don’t relate, the message here is — instead of celebrating new jobs, celebrate new chapters and the opportunity to have new experiences (both positive & negative).

A new job is just stepping into a vortex of possibilities. For some, it will be everything they’d ever hoped for, while for others it will hold their hand and lead them into the dark abyss of The Twilight Zone

.…Those that make it there, never come back the same — and in the end, that could be the best thing that ever happens to you and your career.

If you’re changing, you’re evolving and that’s the beauty of life.

So if you’re going to celebrate, don’t celebrate the new job. Choose to celebrate change and whatever lessons it has in store for you.